Tammy

Well, I rejoined Weight Watchers on January 6th, and as of January 28 I am down 6.7 pounds.  I am beyond pleased!  I am subscribing to the notion that if I lose one pound a week for a year, I am down 52 pounds.  This is not a race for me.  Actually, I will be happy once I hit 165.  I am 5′ 8 1/2″ tall and large framed.

My kids and I are going to the gym and working out three times a week.  My daughter is down 4.3 pounds as a result.  She looks awesome and feels so much better in her clothes.    My son is our “trainer.” We are having a blast!

As for my debt, I have reviewed all of my credit reports and am making the difficult phone calls to folks asking to make arrangements.  I am very proud of myself for repaying old debts for the past two years at the rate of $391.00/ month.  I am facing my low self-esteem demons little-by-little.  As I have said here before, my weight and my debt are coming from the same place.  I eat and spend to fill voids, alleviate boredom, numb myself…Not anymore!

Have a great weekend everyone!

Here’s to self-discovery and self-love!

“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.”  Lucille Ball

I saw this quote a few mornings ago on the back of a book of quotes for women, given to me by a faculty member when I left the principalship of a high school  where I worked for seven-and-a-half years.  It struck a chord with me since I am trying to lose weight and debt.  Well, actually, I am trying to gain health and financial security.  Anyway, I liked the Lucille Ball quote so much that I needed to journal about what it means to me at this point in my life.

I do weird things to spark my creativity.  I, for instance,  might pick out five quality books from my personal library, and chose a number that has significance for me that particular day.  I go to that page in each of the five books and try to find a “message” or lesson, for me to ponder.  I make connections from all five books to aid me in making sense of our wonderful world.  I believe that the message I get is not coincidence.  I believe that I am being guided by our Maker to these lessons through my reading and writing.  So, the fact that this quote was the first sentence I read on Monday morning coupled with hearing a question Dr. Oz asked to an overweight family on a recent show ( “Would you let someone else that you love do something to threaten their health?”) gave me pause - and another reason to write (like I needed one…)

What Dr. Oz was trying to say was “If I knew that bad food choices I was making for my family would shorten my family members’ life expectancy,  regardless of the love with which I prepare the food or the comfort that food brings in the short term,  would I continue to make these choices?”  My answer is of course not.  He went on to make the connection that if you love yourself then you would not do it to yourself either.

I am a firm believer, in theory, about not being able to love anyone else until you first love yourself.  I just have not been very good at it in practice.  Until now!  I am seeing how my choices, my example, my lifestyle are impacting my children’s lives.  When I am living in angst, eating my problems, spending money I don’t have for immediate gratification, my children are mirroring me.

When I live in abundance of healthy food choices, thrill in paying down my debt, they too do the same.  My son’s acne is clearing up.  My daughter is enjoying the extra room in her jeans and is taking more pride in her appearance.  Their rooms are becoming more organized, and they are ridding themselves of items they no longer need.  Just yesterday, my daughter successfully sold her prom dress on eBay from last spring so she could begin saving for her dream dress for this year’s prom.  The positive vibes are palpable.

I’ll take this self- love and abundance thing any old day over self-loathing and deprivation.   How about you?

I have really been  soul-searching lately to discover what truly inspires me.  It is only when I am inspired that I am fully engaged; of course, this engagement, immersion (if you will) occupies my mind at a level that food is no longer my go-to for comfort or diversion from my problems.

So, I want to know what you are inspired by…

I am inspired by a brand-new blank notebook or journal.  The possibilities are endless when “the rest is still unwritten” or not drawn, doodled, etc.

I am inspired by color.  I love tones, shades, tints, primaries, you name it.  I love it in clothes, jewelry, in street graffiti, food, advertisements - you get the picture.

I am inspired by excellence.  There is nothing more motivating to me than people coming together for the common great (not good) of their cause.  A 4-H group trying to organize a fund raiser for a local family in need of help, a group of  teachers pouring over research to determine the best strategies to employ to maximize learning, the CEO and board of directors whose focus and mission are people first, artists and architects who create a more beautiful world, mothers and fathers (or whoever makes a “family”) who instill kindness and compassion in their children all inspire me.

I am inspired by coffee.  I mean it.  I love a great cup of joe.  I have bought books about about coffee.  I have written journal entries dedicated to the russet brew.  My personal letterhead is illustrated with a cup of coffee at the upper-left side.

I am inspired by airplanes.  Where are they going?  What adventures are the people riding them embarking upon?  When can I take vacation time and join them?

I am inspired by my family - both biological and “created.”  I enjoy the security in knowing that someone knows me and loves me for who I am.  No matter what.   I get satisfaction in knowing who will, most likely, be at my next holiday gathering, barbecue, and kids’ school events.   I like the fact that someone, somewhere has my back.

I am inspired by a presence greater than myself.  God.  It is in my hours of greatest inspiration, when the awe and wonder mesh and my soul is transformed, that I feel the presence of a Higher Power.

As I said at the beginning of this post, I want to know what inspires you?  If we can get to the root of what we love, what motivates us, then we may be able to fend off the food demons.

Cup of coffee, anyone?

This is only Day 4, and my pants are feeling a little loose and my belly is feeling flatter.  Wow!  Now if that isn’t incentive, I don’t know what is!  I am looking forward to my weigh in on Thursday! So far, today, I have eaten low fat breakfast cereal with skim milk, yogurt, whole wheat toast, an apple, a banana and a low fat ginger cookie.  I love the new Weight Watchers points system.  I can have as many fruits as I want without counting the points.  Of course, I can’t go crazy, but it makes a difference for me.  I am not hungry - at all!

I have a few phone calls to make regarding my debt, so wish me courage.  My debt is as big a problem as my weight.  Have a great day all!

We all know how emotions and feelings sometimes derail our weight loss goals.  In my case, they have totally caused my problems with my weight and debt.  My feelings of inadequacy, my family and job responsibilities, etc., all led to my trying to numb myself with food.

I ran across a quote by author Neville Goddard that made perfect sense to me:  “Whenever your feeling is in conflict with your wish, feeling will be the victor.”

I want to be at goal weight and be debt free, but my feelings about it are so strong negatively and are causing me anguish.  The trick here is to get my feelings about weight and money in sync with my desires - to be at goal weight and to be debt free.  I’ve got my work cut out for me, but I know how to do this and I continuously study and learn.

Please pray for me, as I do for all of you, as we continue on our journey toward wholeness.

I have been meditating for the past few years.  It causes me to really feel what is going on in my mind instead of hiding my feelings, thoughts, emotions under numerous activities or food.  Since yesterday was my first full day back on Weight Watchers, I decided to have a serious meditation session before bed.  I slept the best I have in a while.

In the book Women, Food, and God,  author Geneen Roth says, “Meditation develops the capacity to question your mind.  Without it you are at the mercy of every thought, every desire, every wave of emotion.”

Since I am an emotional eater, I certainly do not want to be at the mercy of my every thought, desire, and emotion.  Heck, that is what got me into my weight and debt mess to begin with.  So I meditate.

If you meditate, what are some suggestions you have for me?  I do the mantra style (like in India) generally, but am not familiar with other  forms or practices. Thanks for any help you can give me!

OK. I bit the bullet and rejoined WW with my daughter last night.  My weight is up to 191, but I know I can do this.  I like the fact that on the new program I can eat all the fruit I want, but there are a lot of differences between the old and new programs, and I am going to have to study it.  Oh well, I have dedicated my life to school, so studying should not be a problem.  Right?

I was also hit with a huge medical bill I was not expecting yesterday.  That was quite a blow.  I am a believer in the law of attraction, so I am trying to remain positive and have faith, but  wow…I am going to spend a lot of time in prayer today.  I need to get my head in this debt game as well as the health game.  The two go hand-in-hand for me, actually.

Have a blessed day everyone.  We can do this!

Good Morning All!  I have a question for you.  Do you wear Spanx/Assets, etc.  You know…The hosiery/girdles that keep you looking smooth.  I have been wearing them off and on now for a few years and wondered if any of you have trouble with the waistbands rolling down or a muffin top occurring.  I know there are many different styles, but I cannot afford to buy all the different brands/styles just trying to find the perfect fit.  Any suggestions?  I am pear-shaped with ample butt and thighs.

Oh yeah, by the way, I ate too much Breyer’s Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream last night.  Bummer, huh?  Back on the wagon today.  I officially rejoin Weight Watchers again tonight.  Wish me success, please.  I need all of your good thoughts and prayers for the first big weigh-in.

Have a great day everyone!

Is anyone else watching the OWN Channel show about the making of Oprah’s 25th Season?  I am, and am enjoying it for the most part.

I just wondered if anyone else caught this in the first show:   Oprah’s producers have to work as many hours “as it takes.”  Oprah actually says that very thing in an interview on one of the segments  I find this contrary to what she is always telling people on her show.  She generally prescribes investing in oneself -spirit, family, health so you can be “fully present.”  Her producers are working very long hours to put out a high quality show that espouses the virtues of self-discovery, renewing the spirit, taking time for yourself while their kids and husbands are at home without them.  I love the show.  I love Oprah’s magazine, and I love her new network.  What I find odd, however, is that her own Harpo crew does not practice  what is preached in the Oprah gospel.  Of course, none of them acts as if it is a problem.  They all seem to love what they do.

But I notice that many of them are overweight…I can relate, of course.

What do you think?

On the topic of “feeding” what is truly important…Getting involved, helping others, taking leadership/ownership of something bigger than myself is what it takes for me to get my focus off of food.  Of course, I have to be careful not to get overly involved and then slip into stress eating.  But I am convinced that once I am in the zone, and feeding my spirit, then food becomes nourishment - not comfort.

Today, I spent the afternoon with 4-H  Teen Leaders.  We planned county summer camp, determined who they wanted to be guest mentors/speakers at their meetings this year, and who was attending state winter camps.  The discussion was so lively, and the emergent leadership skills of these kids were kicking.  The other adult leader and I were so into what these kids were doing that the time flew, and we forgot to eat the snacks provided by one of the moms. I fed what was important to me, and came home and fixed a nourishing meal for me and my family.

How do you “feed” your spirit?  I would love to hear your ideas and your activities.